Sad

I'm trying to fix my mind. I'm feelling broken. My heart isn't beating as well. I don't mean I'm ill, I'm just feeling mad. Sometimes I don't understand why the things happen or have to be like this.

I have a such big love that I'm not having opportunities to show. I know the time and the things aren't helping. I feel guilt for this but I can't understand what I can do change this sad reallity. Sometimes I wish I could have the one I love beside me but maybe it's not the time for that. The documents, the calls or other things else aren't changing our emotions.

I know I'm being like a dead one near him, less smily and careless about him and his feelings. All I'm doing is making the things get worse than they are. When I'm receiving sad words... I think better stop here but I won't blame him for anything because I know the reasons that are changing us. I just want he knows he makes me the happiest one in this world and if the things aren't helping me to show him the love I feel for him, I will try to full this lack of me the times we be together, just he and me.