I sent today an e-mail I had to had sent before but the e-mail notified me that the address weren't working.
I had never felt how I had made the others feel before but now I understand. Sentence without meaning for you? Yeah, hmm... can be.
I know I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm boring. I know all that. And today I heard it again from my father. But why try to make myself better if there isn't a propose? Life is hard to understand and hard to live.
Yesterday someone asked me what's love and for the first time in my life I didn't want to answer to that question, I couldn't and I didn't want. There is a reason for everything in this life but no one needs to understand me or stop all the world to give attention to my tears or my complains. And I thought, if no one needs to understand me why use the universal language to express my feelings or life? I will think about what I will really do.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Happy birthday, Dad!
Today, October 26, 2006, is my father's 41 years old birthday. We had a lunch with him and it was delicious. He liked the present we bought him, it's good.
Just stopping to wish him HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Just stopping to wish him HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Monday, October 23, 2006
The pets.
It's a torture...
The little one. I don't know why but he didn't get the same size of his brothers and sisters, he looks like a puppy of 1 month-old.
Amarelinha is walking...
Can you see Iena hidding?
The big Patinha thinking what he can do to disturb Laika.
There is Amarelinha having a nice talk to Iena but I think he isn't listening to her.
Now you can see the back of Branquinha - the white one - and the back of Pretinho - the black one. They were messing something near my feet and they weren't carring to the camera.
Pretinho is looking for you! Look at him in the shadow. I know you can't see his eyes but he is looking, believe me.
Amarelinha near Juninho (the one in red).
Macaquinho crying beause I didn't let the door opened.
Branquinha again.
If you look well you will find 3 little kids. Look well. Let's play!
By Camila.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Making part of the team
From a long time there is no new here and now I'm writing. The little dogs are getting fine, thank God! We have been carring about them and they are getting better, soon we can look for owners to them.
You don't know but now I make part of a female soccer team. It's called Team Chicago Brasil. Strange name to a Brazilian team, isn't it? Yes, I agree with you, but this team has another one in USA in Chicago. They have the same name but the one from here has Brasil to make us different from there though we are directly connected to them in US. I'm happy to make part of the team. They are really nice and yesterday was my first day there with them in the training. Happly, I made a goal. It was so nice. I played in all the postes and I think I wasn't so bad but I'm still without a good physic prepare.
It's my news. I will think about taking pictures of the little pets and post here. Now they are big and smart but are still a little ugly because they were sick and just now, after getting better, they are having their hair again.
You don't know but now I make part of a female soccer team. It's called Team Chicago Brasil. Strange name to a Brazilian team, isn't it? Yes, I agree with you, but this team has another one in USA in Chicago. They have the same name but the one from here has Brasil to make us different from there though we are directly connected to them in US. I'm happy to make part of the team. They are really nice and yesterday was my first day there with them in the training. Happly, I made a goal. It was so nice. I played in all the postes and I think I wasn't so bad but I'm still without a good physic prepare.
It's my news. I will think about taking pictures of the little pets and post here. Now they are big and smart but are still a little ugly because they were sick and just now, after getting better, they are having their hair again.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Sad
I'm trying to fix my mind. I'm feelling broken. My heart isn't beating as well. I don't mean I'm ill, I'm just feeling mad. Sometimes I don't understand why the things happen or have to be like this.
I have a such big love that I'm not having opportunities to show. I know the time and the things aren't helping. I feel guilt for this but I can't understand what I can do change this sad reallity. Sometimes I wish I could have the one I love beside me but maybe it's not the time for that. The documents, the calls or other things else aren't changing our emotions.
I know I'm being like a dead one near him, less smily and careless about him and his feelings. All I'm doing is making the things get worse than they are. When I'm receiving sad words... I think better stop here but I won't blame him for anything because I know the reasons that are changing us. I just want he knows he makes me the happiest one in this world and if the things aren't helping me to show him the love I feel for him, I will try to full this lack of me the times we be together, just he and me.
I have a such big love that I'm not having opportunities to show. I know the time and the things aren't helping. I feel guilt for this but I can't understand what I can do change this sad reallity. Sometimes I wish I could have the one I love beside me but maybe it's not the time for that. The documents, the calls or other things else aren't changing our emotions.
I know I'm being like a dead one near him, less smily and careless about him and his feelings. All I'm doing is making the things get worse than they are. When I'm receiving sad words... I think better stop here but I won't blame him for anything because I know the reasons that are changing us. I just want he knows he makes me the happiest one in this world and if the things aren't helping me to show him the love I feel for him, I will try to full this lack of me the times we be together, just he and me.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
For me, the most important new of this week is that on Saturday night I found 6 little pets in the rain and cold weather outside in my street. Someone from some blocks near here just left them in a market bag and left. The boys told me how that happened and that it was in the lunch time.
I got them with my brother and we brought them home to care of them and give them some food because they are less than 2 months-old. So, they are living in our home untill today. We gave them the right medication to get better of their illnesses and when they get better we will give them.
They are happy because they are also sleeping near Laika (my female dog) and they think she is their mother. She is carring about them but they are making she tired. Junior (my male dog) is feeling lonely because we have to put him to sleep alone in another part of the house.
Well, I'm really loving the 'babies'.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Now, talking about Brazil... after wins Kwait's national team for 3X0, yesterday we won Equador for 2x1. Poor Ronaldinho, he tried twice to make a goal but nothing helped him. I wish he could make those goals because from a long time he is fasting from goals in for the national team.
About Kwait... hehehe, I think they didn't want or didn't know how to play soccer because they were LOST in the field but I enjoied all the match just listening and reading the Arabic names. I'm crazy but that's me.
I got them with my brother and we brought them home to care of them and give them some food because they are less than 2 months-old. So, they are living in our home untill today. We gave them the right medication to get better of their illnesses and when they get better we will give them.
They are happy because they are also sleeping near Laika (my female dog) and they think she is their mother. She is carring about them but they are making she tired. Junior (my male dog) is feeling lonely because we have to put him to sleep alone in another part of the house.
Well, I'm really loving the 'babies'.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Now, talking about Brazil... after wins Kwait's national team for 3X0, yesterday we won Equador for 2x1. Poor Ronaldinho, he tried twice to make a goal but nothing helped him. I wish he could make those goals because from a long time he is fasting from goals in for the national team.
About Kwait... hehehe, I think they didn't want or didn't know how to play soccer because they were LOST in the field but I enjoied all the match just listening and reading the Arabic names. I'm crazy but that's me.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Autobiography.
I will start from my born.
I was a wished baby. My parents desired me. After many trials, there was me, a healthy child that brought happiness to all the family. The first baby of my parents and the first grandchild to both grandparents.
I grew up, went to school and used to be successful in my studies. I always liked to take my own decision and keep my feelings only for me, deep inside me. It was what made me a close teenager in the future and different from the other people.
On my six years old my life changed and started to be shared with a little new one. My brother was born and I can’t lie, he’s the most precious gift I received in all my life since the first time I saw him and knew I was the first person to take him in my arms after he was born (of course my mother was the first, but I was after her).
We aren’t kid forever. There is a time that our body, mind and feelings change. We get vulnerable at every word we listen or at every step we think about taking.
I’m normal, human. And at that time, besides all that, I got interested on boys. But I really thank I never had been in love with someone I had been with.
Growing up and noticing that I wasn’t and never had been a beautiful girl I think I was accepting my way to be. Though I wasn’t the most beautiful or the most intelligent I had my skills and qualities. I was always the best player in every sport, the hardest one in my decisions and had a strong personality.
The years got passed and I had forgotten and given up of trying to have a boyfriend but my friends at school assure to remind me of that always.
Within the time I got a little more opened to talks and felt it was also time to say my hidden feelings, the things even I was so sad I didn’t use to share. I found a really big friend then. She turned my life upside down and I felt I was happy, as I had never been before.
One month before completing 16 yeas old my best friend and I went out to a disco at night. It was my first time going out like that. After my parents’ separation in the year before, our lives seemed dead lives, and that day we were ready to make a new beginning. So we did.
At that same night I couldn’t take my eyes out of someone that attracted me. However, I kept my quiet way. No one could know that inside me I wanted to feel a man near. Not friends, but someone who could get near me, give me kind (even it was for a while), and although I wasn’t beautiful he didn’t need to remind me of that.
After I get what I wanted with the one I looked at all the night, I got happy. I felt free and comfortable. I was like a common girl, I had kissed someone and I could feel really self confident with my conquest.
I finally woke up for my life. No father was there to control me or tell me what to do or not. No one to stop on my way.
Mom, my friends and I used to go out to discos every free weekend we had without had to study for tests at school. Happily, the few chances I had to go out with them I could enjoy in the maximum and feel like a real young person of my age. I didn’t need to do sex with anyone to get my happiness, I reached it because I had never felt wanted like that for the people around me in my life. I had friends. I had a family.
The last year at school came and all the parties was over because of that busy time. I was still having faithful friends but they were sharing their were sharing their time among their families, their friends, their boyfriends and me. So, a Halloween party at school came and I decided to meet a Moroccan boy who was living here. He just got my phone number and we were talking on the phone everyday for about one week until the party’s day.
I didn’t know and I couldn’t imagine I would date someone just in the first meeting but my best friend made that happen to me. Wow, I was dating! My first boyfriend! Yes, illusion. I dated him for four months but I broke up with him because he wasn’t the one I wanted, I wasn’t in love with him. It wasn’t fair stay with someone in that way. I would be bad keep lying on him that I felt something good near him.
The life continues and I have to look in front. I went out more some days and met some guys in these few times. I tried to back to my routine or going out because that used to make me feel nice and I tried to forget my best friend because she said she wanted me far just because of the fact I was who I am.
Well, those things didn’t affect me at all. Even I went out with some guys I didn’t date anyone of them. In truth no one of them made me feel passionate. I wanted someone as I had loved before, someone as a virtual man that once I really loved but who disappointed me a lot and that’s why I didn’t want him anymore.
There wasn’t anyone like him or better than him to me allow to stay with me. I followed my journey alone as ever, then.
Happily, God made me meet someone when I was needing help, kind and comprehension. Fate’s irony… I don’t know. But there was another Moroccan man coming into my live without I choose that. He became a big wonderful friend when I needed to share my life with someone, when I had to have another surgery made, when something really bad happened to someone so beloved and so close to me, when my phone didn’t use to ring anymore.
Everywhere I looked at, he was there to full me. My heart was hurt to let me be able to allow myself to like or love someone again. But some parts of our lives are already written. I got completely in love with him and despites I want to forget my past and start counting my life from zero from the first moment I knew him, I know my past is a part of me. A part that made me happy when it happened but that makes no difference for me now.
I will just let my life takes my future and me just owns to God, my choices and me.
That’s my life.
I was a wished baby. My parents desired me. After many trials, there was me, a healthy child that brought happiness to all the family. The first baby of my parents and the first grandchild to both grandparents.
I grew up, went to school and used to be successful in my studies. I always liked to take my own decision and keep my feelings only for me, deep inside me. It was what made me a close teenager in the future and different from the other people.
On my six years old my life changed and started to be shared with a little new one. My brother was born and I can’t lie, he’s the most precious gift I received in all my life since the first time I saw him and knew I was the first person to take him in my arms after he was born (of course my mother was the first, but I was after her).
We aren’t kid forever. There is a time that our body, mind and feelings change. We get vulnerable at every word we listen or at every step we think about taking.
I’m normal, human. And at that time, besides all that, I got interested on boys. But I really thank I never had been in love with someone I had been with.
Growing up and noticing that I wasn’t and never had been a beautiful girl I think I was accepting my way to be. Though I wasn’t the most beautiful or the most intelligent I had my skills and qualities. I was always the best player in every sport, the hardest one in my decisions and had a strong personality.
The years got passed and I had forgotten and given up of trying to have a boyfriend but my friends at school assure to remind me of that always.
Within the time I got a little more opened to talks and felt it was also time to say my hidden feelings, the things even I was so sad I didn’t use to share. I found a really big friend then. She turned my life upside down and I felt I was happy, as I had never been before.
One month before completing 16 yeas old my best friend and I went out to a disco at night. It was my first time going out like that. After my parents’ separation in the year before, our lives seemed dead lives, and that day we were ready to make a new beginning. So we did.
At that same night I couldn’t take my eyes out of someone that attracted me. However, I kept my quiet way. No one could know that inside me I wanted to feel a man near. Not friends, but someone who could get near me, give me kind (even it was for a while), and although I wasn’t beautiful he didn’t need to remind me of that.
After I get what I wanted with the one I looked at all the night, I got happy. I felt free and comfortable. I was like a common girl, I had kissed someone and I could feel really self confident with my conquest.
I finally woke up for my life. No father was there to control me or tell me what to do or not. No one to stop on my way.
Mom, my friends and I used to go out to discos every free weekend we had without had to study for tests at school. Happily, the few chances I had to go out with them I could enjoy in the maximum and feel like a real young person of my age. I didn’t need to do sex with anyone to get my happiness, I reached it because I had never felt wanted like that for the people around me in my life. I had friends. I had a family.
The last year at school came and all the parties was over because of that busy time. I was still having faithful friends but they were sharing their were sharing their time among their families, their friends, their boyfriends and me. So, a Halloween party at school came and I decided to meet a Moroccan boy who was living here. He just got my phone number and we were talking on the phone everyday for about one week until the party’s day.
I didn’t know and I couldn’t imagine I would date someone just in the first meeting but my best friend made that happen to me. Wow, I was dating! My first boyfriend! Yes, illusion. I dated him for four months but I broke up with him because he wasn’t the one I wanted, I wasn’t in love with him. It wasn’t fair stay with someone in that way. I would be bad keep lying on him that I felt something good near him.
The life continues and I have to look in front. I went out more some days and met some guys in these few times. I tried to back to my routine or going out because that used to make me feel nice and I tried to forget my best friend because she said she wanted me far just because of the fact I was who I am.
Well, those things didn’t affect me at all. Even I went out with some guys I didn’t date anyone of them. In truth no one of them made me feel passionate. I wanted someone as I had loved before, someone as a virtual man that once I really loved but who disappointed me a lot and that’s why I didn’t want him anymore.
There wasn’t anyone like him or better than him to me allow to stay with me. I followed my journey alone as ever, then.
Happily, God made me meet someone when I was needing help, kind and comprehension. Fate’s irony… I don’t know. But there was another Moroccan man coming into my live without I choose that. He became a big wonderful friend when I needed to share my life with someone, when I had to have another surgery made, when something really bad happened to someone so beloved and so close to me, when my phone didn’t use to ring anymore.
Everywhere I looked at, he was there to full me. My heart was hurt to let me be able to allow myself to like or love someone again. But some parts of our lives are already written. I got completely in love with him and despites I want to forget my past and start counting my life from zero from the first moment I knew him, I know my past is a part of me. A part that made me happy when it happened but that makes no difference for me now.
I will just let my life takes my future and me just owns to God, my choices and me.
That’s my life.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Matheus' 12 years old's party
Matheus' birthday party.
Playing pool.
Aunt Simone (in black), mom, Gisele and Paulo.
Romulo, Lucas and Matheus.
My father and my aunt Flavia.
Matheus.
12 years old...
Matheus and me.
By Camila.
Playing pool.
Aunt Simone (in black), mom, Gisele and Paulo.
Romulo, Lucas and Matheus.
My father and my aunt Flavia.
Matheus.
12 years old...
Matheus and me.
By Camila.
BACK2BACK BAND
I'm here to tell you about a great new band. You can check the songs, lyrics, photo album and everything you need in this site:
http://www.back2backlive.com
Is that, Mido! Go ahead and success to you and all the Back2Back band!
http://www.back2backlive.com
Is that, Mido! Go ahead and success to you and all the Back2Back band!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Gol linhas aéreas' airplane's accident - Boeing 737-800
Everyone in every part of the world is knowing about this accident that shocked all us.
An airplane with 149 passenger and 6 crew members disappeared last friday. The Boeing 737-800 took off from Manaus (Amazonas capital) at 15h35 and musted land in Brasília (Brazil's capital) at 18h12. The destine wasn't reached.
The boeing shocked with a personal airplane that was out of its way. The other little airplane could follow and arrive in the right destine but the boeing lost the control, because it's a such big plane, and falled down being completely distoried.
The FAB (Força Aérea Brasileira - Brazilian Air Force) in the same night sent people to the accident's place to make a rescue. At the first view they said every 150 people in the airplane had died.
The Air Force said it's almost impossible to have survivors after what the witnesses said and after was almost sure proved. Infraero afirmed the boieng falled in the vertical in the speed of 400 km/h untill its front part shock with the floor in the forest in Mato Grosso.
They got the black boxes of the airplane and they supposed the rescue was going to take between 2 or 3 days. The rescue continued on sunday and they could find about 100 bodies. The smell of dead people and the closed and big trees in the forest aren't helping the rescue people.
An airplane with 149 passenger and 6 crew members disappeared last friday. The Boeing 737-800 took off from Manaus (Amazonas capital) at 15h35 and musted land in Brasília (Brazil's capital) at 18h12. The destine wasn't reached.
The boeing shocked with a personal airplane that was out of its way. The other little airplane could follow and arrive in the right destine but the boeing lost the control, because it's a such big plane, and falled down being completely distoried.
The FAB (Força Aérea Brasileira - Brazilian Air Force) in the same night sent people to the accident's place to make a rescue. At the first view they said every 150 people in the airplane had died.
The Air Force said it's almost impossible to have survivors after what the witnesses said and after was almost sure proved. Infraero afirmed the boieng falled in the vertical in the speed of 400 km/h untill its front part shock with the floor in the forest in Mato Grosso.
They got the black boxes of the airplane and they supposed the rescue was going to take between 2 or 3 days. The rescue continued on sunday and they could find about 100 bodies. The smell of dead people and the closed and big trees in the forest aren't helping the rescue people.
The Legacy - the personal plane that shocked with the boieng and could get safe in its destine.
A view from up of the wreckage. The you can see how it was supposed, by the first look, that no one could had survided.
The rescue group trying to get there and analising the place before landing.
Getting there.
The such closed trees difficulting the rescue and just a few part of the boeing in the pic.
Only parts of the airplane.
A view from far from where they falled down and big forest.
They published the list of people. The 149 passengers:
- Acker, Jaques
- Alves, Leonardo
- Anchienta, Elcio
- Araujo, Agamenon
- Armindo, Antonio
- Azeredo, Gilson
- Azevedo, Marcelo
- Azevedo, Otto Bernardo
- Barato, Jose
- Barbero, Valdinei Roberto
- Barbosa, Henrique
- Barreto, Rafael
- Benedito, Luiz Rogerio
- Benjamim, Maria Terezinha
- Beyer, Hugo
- Bonaroski, Luiz
- Bortozolo, Erthelvine
- Bovi, Marilene
- Branco, Kelison
- Bressan, Keila
- Brito, Ana Claudia
- Cabrerizo, Gustavo
- Calandrini, Fabiana
- Calandrini, Joao Ariano
- Cardoso, Claudio
- Carvalho, Luiz
- Carvalho, Viviane
- Cavalcante, Francisco
- Cavalcante, Rossana
- Coelho, Jose
- Colli, Vanessa
- Colognese, Nelson
- Copat, Ivan
- Costa, Elizabeth
- Costa, Josenilda
- Costa, Gilcley
- Cruz, Carlos
- Cruz, Maria Valeria
- Custodio, Luiz
- Da Rocha, Claudio
- Darc, Joana
- De Jesus, Oscar
- De Jesus, Ruth
- Divino, Silvia
- Duarte Doria, Nilo
- Eustaquio, Thiago
- Falcao, Joseane
- Farias, Francisco
- Felippe, Paulo Cesar
- Ferreira, Marcelo
- Fontoura, Andre
- Freixo, Luana
- Garcia, Francisco
- Garcia, Helen
- Garcia, Pedro Henrique
- Godoy, Helio
- Gomes, Regina
- Gonçalves Sobrinho, Laza
- Guidi, Julio
- Gutjahr, Rolf
- Hancock, Douglas
- Ignacio, Joana
- Kowalski, Andreas
- Leal, Joao
- Leite, Angela
- Lemos, Lucas
- Lesqueves, Eugenio
- Lima, Thalita
- Lins, Eteuvino
- Lleras, Mario
- Lleras, Daniel
- Loiola, Francisco Chagas
- Lopes, Marcelo Paixao
- Lopes, Marcelo
- Lopes, Marcelo
- Lucas, Esdras
- Macedo, Olga
- Macena, Maria Auxiliadora
- Machado, Marlon
- Machado, Valdomiro
- Magalhaes, Rosana
- Maia, Maria Zilda
- Maia, Lavosier
- Malafaia, Mario
- Marques, Inez
- Mattos, Antonio
- Melo, Osman
- Melo, Izelia
- Mendes, Julio
- Mendes, Augusto
- Mendes, Marina
- Michel, Frederick
- Miranda, Ronivon
- Moraes, Glecio
- Moreira, Patricia
- Moreira, Quezia
- Naranjo, Rayssa
- Nardt, Francisco
- Neres, Karla
- Noe, Ronaldo
- Oliveira, Charlie
- Oliveira, Marcio
- Oliveira, Francisco
- Oliveira, Enio de
- Oliveira, Vandemir
- Oliveira, Antonia
- Padilha, Janine
- Panizzi, Lourdes
- Peixoto, Pedro
- Pessoa, Antonio
- Pimentel, Walter
- Pivotto, Eleta
- Prado, Dornelio
- Radesca, Ricardo
- Ramos, Joao Eloi
- Rezende, Atila
- Rezende, Ismar
- Rezende, Maria
- Rezende, Francielle
- Rickly, Maria das Graças
- Rigueira, Marcelo
- Rocha, Salustiano
- Rodrigues, Maria Jose
- Rodrigues, Adair
- Rodrigues, Antonio
- Romano, Mauro
- Rondini, Michel
- Rosa, Claudemir
- Sant Anna Junior, Mozart
- Santos, Paulo
- Santos, Alexandre
- Santos, Emanuelle
- Santos, Luiz
- Silva, Felipe
- Silva, Ana
- Silva, Daniel
- Silva, Juvencio
- Silva, Rogerio
- Silva, Mario
- Siqueira, Plinio
- Sousa, Carlos
- Souza, Eduardo
- Souza, Ricardo
- Souza Junior, Carlos
- Tarifa, Ricardo
- Trindade, Jose
- Viana, Huederfidel
- Vianna, Hamilton
- Xavier, Samantha
The 6 crew members:
- Commander - Decio Chaves Junior
- Copilot - Thiago Jordao Cruso
- Flight Attendant - Renata Souza Fernandes
- Flight Attendant - Sandra da Silva Martins
- Flight Attendant - Nerisvan Dackson Canuto da Silva
- Flight Attendant - Rodrigo de Paula Lima
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
I'm just writing brief posts because I'm having no time because of my work with my grandmother and because of Ramadan. I'm fasting and doing other things that are busing my time a lot. I have to apologize because of these lates to write something. I know it makes everyone far from reading my blog but as soon as I have time to do it, I will post my brother's birthday's pics. A big nice week to everyone.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Elections
Today, unhapply, was my first time voting. I'm still really angry with that. The politicians say our country is a democracy, but if it was a democracy the vote wouldn't be obligatory.
I couldn't sleep well this night but it's o.k. I watched a match of the Italian Championship on TV: Milan versus Siena. It was nice considering I didn't have something better to do.
My days are like this. Nothing more to say.
I couldn't sleep well this night but it's o.k. I watched a match of the Italian Championship on TV: Milan versus Siena. It was nice considering I didn't have something better to do.
My days are like this. Nothing more to say.
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