Just in Iguaba.

Hello everyone, i'm here posting about my travel here in Araruama, or call as Iguaba, I really do not know about the right name of the place because we are in the board of these two places. I just want to tell that I'm really far from my house but everything is O.K. here. I'm with my mother, brother, grandfather and grandmother. We are really enjoying here a lot, we laughed and yesterday, while we were playing cards, we couldn't stop playing and making each other laugh but just after clean all the beach house. Later I will think if I will write about what happened, it's something dirty but I don't worry. I'm in the cyber but listening to music because there is no one to talk to me here. By the way, see you when I get back home.

A night without sleep.

I don't know what happened. After come back home from my course and my cousin Christopher's birthday party, I took my shower and came online to send some e-mails that I had to send. So, sometime after, minutes after midnight, I went to bed and tried to sleep but the time was passing and I was watching the hours going and no sleep. The first time I looked at my watch it was 1:40 a.m., sometime later, no sleep yet and the watch was marking 3:20 a.m. My mother had to wake up early today at 5:00 a.m. and at this time I was still awake. Even I tried to sleep I couldn't. My brother woke up at 6:00 a.m. and mom was already out but untill 9:40 a.m. I was just moving in the bed trying to keep my eyes closed forcing them to make me sleep. Though my eyes were burning, nothing. Sometime later finally I could sleep but at 10:20 a.m. someone called my home asking to talk to my mother, I know I answered the person but in the lunch, when my mother came back home and I tried to remember who had called her I couldn't. I didn't remember if it was a man or a woman, believe me, I couldn't remember it, even what the person told me I didn't remember neither. Near 11:20 a.m. I got sleepy again but 20 minutes later the phone rang again and guess, I didn't move from my place to open the call, because it was a call in the other phone, but it made me wake up and so I couldn't sleep anymore, if you can call what I have of "sleep".

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After really wake up and don't try to be more on my bed I went to clean the street infront of our house's door. When I finished it was a hot weather and as I had to give shower on my dogs, Laika and Juninho, I did it. The good point of everything is that they loved to be clean again and received me with some kisses...

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My grandmother got sick and so my family will not travel on this weekend as they were planing to do. But, don't worry about her, it's just a simple cold, she is fine.

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Some minutes ago I made some camomila tea and drunk more than 1 bottle of it, I hope I can sleep this night because this headache isn't letting me rest at all.

Ahhh!

Yes! Thanks God I have finished my English course. Now, I'm going to start and new part of my studies. I have more free time now to think about what I'm going to do. I will miss my friends from there, I really loved all of them and they really could make me happy. I'm thinking about go with them to a pizzaria to comemorate these years. I don't have a lot of money but I think I have the enough amount.

I'm happy.

I'm someone bad.

I usually hurt the ones I love. It's something that let me feeling down.

Yesterday I was bad with the one I love and I think I made him mad at me and it's killing me a little.

I can't live without him. I know that everyone has some hard moments sometimes but even with these moments I want to be side him. Oh, my love, I need you. Sorry for everything I do with you.

I love you, Rabie.

Como se já não bastasse!!!!!!

Pelo amor de Deus, alguém me ajuda!!!!!

Isso tem sido tortura demais para uma pessoa só. As coisas estão ficando insuportáveis! Eu já não agüento mais. Como se já não bastasse a presença dele me incomodar o f**** da p*** ainda resolve ficar falando. Será que esse merda não tem dedo para escrever? Só não mando ele para vocês sabem onde porque estou me controlando e primeiramente por respeito a todos os leitores desse blog.

Eu estou precisando de ajuda, quero esse homem longe, no lugar mais impossível do mundo, onde ninguém o ache. Que ele seja feliz bem longe. Pelo amor de Deus, está ficando terrível, isso está acabando comigo e os dois não percebem. Deus, dai-me força para superar tudo isso, não me deixe fazer nenhuma besteira.

Oh me Deus, me ajude!!!!!!!!

They are killing me.

How are my days going on? It's better you don't ask about this. Everything became the same after the back of that one. Won't he understand that I can't stand him and untill when he is still arriving his finger in my family I will not like him?

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I really don't know more what to do or how to act. He is finishing my health and the worse thing, I hate LIES and it's happening too. Use the same apologize always saying that "being adult" is the reason for do everything isn't in my mind. Run from the talkes when you say you aren't doing anything bad is also something hard to understand. Tell me if you ask something to someone and this one says that he/she is not doing anything wrong, so you ask why something was like that or why you saw strange things happening and this person doesn't answer you running from the talk. I don't know, but for what I know, the person when isn't guilt doesn't need to run from the talk. Am I right?

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I don't know, I'm trying my best these days but my health is going down. I wish that oneday he goes, that's all I can think right now. Come on, I don't understand why she defends him. I think I won't understand never. And sorry for have the same topic always, but untill he exists and I feel bad I need to write somewhere what I'm feeling, if I don't do it I'm going to get crazy and probably do something bad with myself. If I was changed like this and called of evil just because I was right it means that she won't miss me.

Tiziano Ferro - Perdono & Imbranato

Really great Italian songs, I do love them.

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Click here to listen to both songs in sequency.

Tiziano Ferro - Perdono & Imbranato

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Perdono

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Perdonami...

Perdono... si quel che è fatto è fatto io però chiedo

Scusa... regalami un sorriso io ti porgo una

Rosa... su questa amicizia nuova pace si

Posa... perché so come sono infatti chiedo...

Perdono... si quel che è fatto è fatto io però chiedo

Scusa... regalami un sorriso io ti porgo una

Rosa... su questa amicizia nuova pace si

Posa... PERDONO

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Con questa gioia che mi stringe il cuore

A quattro cinque giorni da Natale

Un misto tra incanto e dolore

Ripenso a quando ho fatto io del male

E di persone ce ne sono tante

Buoni pretesti sempre troppo pochi

Tra desideri, labirinti e fuochi

Comincio un nuovo anno io chiedendoti..

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Perdono... si quel che è fatto è fatto io però chiedo

Scusa... regalami un sorriso io ti porgo una

Rosa... su questa amicizia nuova pace si

Posa... perché so come sono infatti chiedo...

Perdono... si quel che è fatto è fatto io però chiedo

Scusa... regalami un sorriso io ti porgo una

Rosa... su questa amicizia nuova pace si

Posa... PERDONO

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Dire che sto bene con te è poco

Dire che sto male con te.. è un gioco!

Un misto tra tregua e rivoluzione

Credo sia una buona occasione

Con questa magia di Natale

Per ricordarti quanto sei speciale

Tra le contraddizioni e i tuoi difetti

Io cerco ancora di volerti

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Perdono... si quel che è fatto è fatto io però chiedo

Scusa... regalami un sorriso io ti porgo una

Rosa... su questa amicizia nuova pace si

Posa... perché so come sono infatti chiedo...

Perdono... si quel che è fatto è fatto io però chiedo

Scusa... regalami un sorriso io ti porgo una

Rosa... su questa amicizia nuova pace si

Posa... PERDONO

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Qui l'inverno non ha paura... io senza di te un po' ne ho

Qui la rabbia è senza misura... io senza di te.. non lo so

E la notte balla da sola... senza di te non ballerò

Capitano abbatti le mura... che da solo non ce la farò

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Perdono... si quel che è fatto è fatto io però chiedo

Scusa... regalami un sorriso io ti porgo una

Rosa... su questa amicizia nuova pace si

Posa... perché so come sono infatti chiedo...

Perdono... si quel che è fatto è fatto io però chiedo

Scusa... regalami un sorriso io ti porgo una

Rosa... su questa amicizia nuova pace si

Posa... PERDONO

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Imbranato

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E’iniziato tutto per un tuo capriccio

Io non mi fidavo..era solo sesso

Ma il sesso è un’attitudine

Come l’arte in genere

E forse l’ho capito e sono qui

Scusa sai se provo a insistere

Divento insopportabile

Ma ti amo…ti amo…ti amo

Ci risiamo..vabè, è antico, ma ti amo

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E scusa se ti amo e se ci conosciamo

Da due mesi o poco più

E scusa se non parlo piano

Ma se non urlo muoio

Non so se sai che ti amo..

E scusami se rido, dall’imbarazzo cedo

Ti guardo fisso e tremo

All’idea di averti accanto

E sentirmi tuo soltanto

E sono qui che parlo emozionato

…e sono un imbranato!

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Ciao..come stai? Domanda inutile!

Ma a me l’amore mi rende prevedibile

Parlo poco, lo so..è strano, guido piano

Sarà il vento, sarà il tempo, sarà…fuoco!

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E scusa se ti amo e se ci conosciamo

Da due mesi o poco più

E scusa se non parlo piano

Ma se non urlo muoio

Non so se sai che ti amo..

E scusami se rido, dall’imbarazzo cedo

Ti guardo fisso e tremo

All’idea di averti accanto

E sentirmi tuo soltanto

E sono qui che parlo emozionato

…e sono un imbranato!

Alhamidulillah - Thanks God.

I'm thanking that Allah is giving me power to stand these things, these moments and everything. I'm getting my control back, I'm feeling rested. I think all the time I leave my prayers for a moment I find myself in bad situations and in bad moments that let me crazy. I won't ask for forgiviness right now because it's not coming from inside myself. We can say I had a nice day today and I'm thankful for that, though I'm having some problems these things are normal in humans' life and I have no way to run from this. Allah doesn't give us something bigger than the one we can stand. I know sometimes I'm wrong and not seeming the Camila that everyone knows but I'm trying my best. I also want to thank my love for having give me calm, kind, patience and knowledge to deal with these things. I feel he always near me and maybe that's why I'm having some better in my way. About my health and some bad thoughts about the one I don't like I don't know when they are going to stop, but I hope it happens soon. I pray for the best but I really do hope that he is not the best one. Allah corrects me if I'm wrong. I'm doing my best, I'm really trying.

Inshallah...

... the things will be easy when he goes. I hope he doesn't be late to leave our lives. All I want is to see him far. It will be a bless from God. I don't if I can stand these things for more time. My heart is full of anger, not just about him but it's especially about him. Today I could find more control but because Alhamidulillah I didn't see his face for a long time because I decided to busy my mind with something else and giving some of my attention to my brother. I think I will change the signature of my e-mails and posts here, I think I will write this in the end: "I really do hate him!"

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I was in the mosque on friday and the sheikh was talking about that inside our hearts we must prefer our brothers and sisters from islam, if the things are really like this I will go to hell because inside my heart, currently, he is one I hate most. I don't know, but my mind is really running about bad things. Just the fact to imagine him dying is wonderful, you have no idea about how is this feeling. Ai ai... what can I do? You know the rest...

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I really do hate him!

Camila.

TO HELL HIM!

Yes, what can I do? I can't change the fact that I can't share the same space of that one. Untill when he is still existing unhapply the life will be like this. It's me or him. Maybe it's selfish or something else but before anything there is something I call as RESPECT, something that he didn't know how to deal with. He doesn't know, he has no idea about how much bad I'm staying because of him and I want everyone knows that he is not someone good. God bless him, BUT FAR FROM ME and far from my family, but if he is near us I can't wish the same. Say I'm bad, hate me, but my problem with him will still always being and sorry to the ones who "like" him, I hate him. I don't think I will accept him oneday.

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Sim, o que eu posso fazer? Eu não posso mudar o fato de não poder dividir o mesmo espaço do que aquelezinho. Enquanto ele continuar existindo infelizmente a vida vai continuar sendo assim. Ou sou eu ou é ele. Talvez seja egoísmo or algo do gênero mas antes de qualquer coisa existe algo que eu chamo de RESPEITO, algo que ele não soube ter. Ele não sabe, ele não tem idéia de quanto mal ele me faz e eu quero que todos saibam que ele não é uma boa pessoa. Deus o abençoe, MAS LONGE DE MIM e da minha família, mas se ele continuar por perto não posso desejar o mesmo. Digam que sou ruim, me odeiem, mas o meu problema com ele irá sempre existir and me desculpem os que "gostam" dele, eu o odeio. Eu não acho que irei aceitá-lo um dia.

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Oui, qu’est-ce que je peux faire ? Je ne peux pas changer le fait que je ne peux pas partager le même espace de celui-là. Quand il existe toujours malheureusement la vie sera comme ça. Si moi ou lui. Peut-être c'est égoïste ou autre chose mais avant que quelque chose là soit une chose j'appelle comme RESPECT, une chose avec lequel il n'a pas su s'occuper. Il ne sait pas, il n'a aucune idée au sujet de combien de mauvais je reste en raison de lui et je veux chacun sait qu'il n'est pas quelqu'un bon. Dieu le bénit, MAIS LOIN DE MOI et loin de ma famille, mais s'il est près de nous je ne peux pas souhaiter la même chose. Dites je suis mauvais, détestez moi, mais mon problème avec lui êtres toujours et désolée à celle que "comme" lui, je le déteste. Je ne pense pas que je l'accepterai un jour.

Hello everyone here, these pictures I took somedays ago but I will post them just now. We took them at my grandparents house.

Starting with our actress Lele making a mess.

See what a beautiful charming face! Who can't love this sweet girl?

Now I think she got sad but my perfect slim Scooby was saying "don't worry my love, everything will be fine again, just be with me...". That's all love.

Ihhhh now she got stressed!!!! Please! Do not eat him!!!! Scooby must be carefull with Lele, we don't know when she is ready to attack!

My wonderful brother saved Scooby from Lele's teeth.

If you look well you will see Scooby near Nico's feet, I think he didn't want to appear in the picture but noway, I did it.

I don't know what he meant...

He was so handsome at this picture, it's a pitty that he didn't like it.
By Camila.

Hello.

Hi everyone here, as always I'm being far from the blog, sometimes I really want to post something but I feel slow when I know I must type in english to make everybody understand me. I really do not like to write in Portuguese at all but sometimes I think it's better write in my language, as my english is not so good I have limited options of words, well, just if I decide to get the dictionary and "eat" it.

About my life, everything here is going from good to better, especially with my especial one, he is always with me tough nowadays we have being far a little from each other but for reasons I don't need to tell now. I want to tell everyone that I'm fine and I'm also happy because of my grades at university, to who I didn't tell before, I finished the tests there and I passed in everything, so I'm in holiday untill August, it's the longest holiday I'm having in the middle of the year, as everyone is supposed to know, in Brazil we have our summer holiday in December and January, it's when we finish our year at school but as I'm studying by semesters now the things changed a little for me, but I'm really liking. I just have to take my tests at university because I want to be with them but tomorrow is Brazil's match against Ghana and I don't know if I will go there.

A big kiss to everyone who reads my blog, thank you.

The Saturday out with my father and my brother.

On Saturday my brother and me had a tour in Rio de Janeiro with my father.

The first thing, the museum in Quinta da Boa Vista.

The front view of the museum and a statue of a princess or queen. I read but I don't remember.

Me and my brother.

A statue of someone important too, sorry but I didn't care to know who he was.

The main Garden.

A little river near the museum in the garden there.

My father and my brother.



The Zoo main entrance.



Some lambs.

Some little ducks in group.

The zoo.

Some weapons in the army museum.



This car went to Angola in a peace mission of ONU (UN) but the driver was killed by some citizens and their weapons.

An old ambulance used in the world war II.





Military Museum Conde de Linhares.



Now we were going to the center of the city, if you want to say downtown its also ok.

The clock of Central do Brasil.

Avenue Presidente Vargas.

It's a building "Procuradoria Geral do Estado".

Rio Sul shopping.

Flamengo.

It's a beach in Copacabana if I'm not wrong.

Copacabana.

I tried but I just found my father's arm.

A hotel.

Buildings and hotels.

The beach.





Sugar loaf.



I wanted to take a picture of the sea but this unknown woman appeared there.

Near S. Conrado.

S. Conrado.

The last pic.
By Camila.

The pics I sent to my love.

Ai ai.. it's me when I had a long hair. Personaly I loved this picture.

I didn't like this one and the next ones. But ok, I'm posting here just to save them. My love also has these ones.



Terrible one!!!!



Hm... not bad at all.









Now my mother.
By Camila.