Thank God!

I'm really happy, different a little from the other days.

I asked God to forgive me for what I had to do this week and asked to oneday He and the babies forgive me too. I asked God to let me know how they were at least, because I didn't know if what I had done was the right or wrong thing to be done and if it made some good or bad to the ones I loved.

So, after times of tears I got sleep and during this night I dreamed with the babies. All of them were together. Limão, Leninha, Macaquinho and Pretinho were playing with their brothers and sister in a wonderful place like a farm with trees and a big field as the background. I was smiling and looking at all of them playing and then from time to time one of them was coming near me and "talking" to me as they used to do everyday when they were still here.

Pretinho came near me and jumped to me take him in my arms and it was one of the most wonderful feelings I felt in a dream. I was missing him, missing them all, and he came to play with me for some minutes as he used to do.

They were making their normal noise, running, playing a lot and enjoying what could be a meet in family.

The dream wasn't erased from my mind, it wasn't either cutted, but the images were just being weak untill disappear. I think God gave me a last chance to see them, not a last chance, but one more chance. I will wait for the next time that they can come to visit me. I always believed that when we dream about someone it means the souls just met and the body is just something material we will leave oneday.

I cried of happiness when I told that this morning to my mother. I felt a little better too. I'm still thinking that the choice I had to take wasn't the "best" one but I just wanted to think about them to don't let they suffering if there wasn't anything more to be done to erase their pain. And, in the dream, they were happy, what made me think that I wasn't all wrong. I just hope their happiness when I met them meant they thanked me for letting they free, happy and fine again.

As much time I have to thank God because of this I will do, how many times I will have to try my best to make the good for someone I will do and all I do is just thank the moments I had with them in this life and while we had moments just as souls.

I really love and miss you all, dears, but if you are really fine, follow your way and be ready to a new life. Maybe we meet each other in another time.