I'm missing him.

I know I'm having somedays to talk to him but I feel these few times we have together aren't being enough. It's hard to express or tell him I miss him all the time, everyday, every passed second.

I just imagine him near me and when I see or read that people are getting married or are getting engaged and it's hurting me deep inside my heart, cutting and finishing me step by step and I'm near to get crazy and throw everything away.

I really don't find words sometimes to say I'm here, to say I love him, to say I miss him and make him believe is hard when I don't see smiles, when I don't find expressions of good feelings or sometimes I just think I should leave those moments to see if when I back the things back to the normal. I know we can't be fine everyday but I will be always trying to get a smile from him though I'm not being really successful in this. I try my best but my tries are being taken by the wind and going away throw the window.

I don't know if I'm right or wrong in my way or in my all life. All I know is just that I'm not feeling useful to the one I love. I wanted to call him now, to cry on his shoulders and hold him as it was the last time I was near him, feeling him. I wanted to feel his breath, his heart and listen his words in my ears, so close, like if he was saying I'm the only one in his life. I know I am, but I wanted to hear this from his mouth and kiss him.

I don't know anymore how to make him understand that I love him and need him here or wherever it be, but with me! I need you, Rabie!